French lessons and growing pains

I studied French in school for six years. I always wanted to be able to speak it since my family has Cajun French roots. After graduation, I began traveling and learning Spanish, forgetting most of the French I had learned over the years.

Seven years later, I decided to take up studying the language again. I was above the moon leading up to my first day, but after half of the class, I was straight up over it. I barely remembered anything from school and felt so frustrated for not recalling what I thought would be easy to remember. Keeping it real, I wanted to quit.

On the walk home, God reminded me of this: The growth process is not aesthetic. It is uncomfortable, can feel embarrassing, and maybe even bring up insecurities. Starting for the first time or starting over again will trigger some inner discomfort. But this is the process, and there is no way around it.

I realized that learning French is like following Jesus. It can be annoying and makes me squirm at times. It challenges me in new ways daily. No matter how long I have been doing it, there is always more to learn. Sometimes, the information is already stored in my brain, but learning to walk it out and put it into use is what feels unbearable.

I hated that first class so much. I hated how it felt trying to speak and not have the words to express myself. I hated feeling dumb for not remembering what I thought I had already learned. Yet, one month later, I love going to class and often find it to be the highlight of my day. This reminds me to stick with what is hard, because it probably won't be hard forever. I will experience what I felt with those first classes over and over again in my faith walk. Yet I am learning to not speed towards the goal and disregard the beauty of the process and all there is to savor in the not-yet spaces.

Today I want to encourage you to keep seeking after that thing you want to learn or grow in. Yeah, you are going to feel awkward and maybe even dumb at times. I think that's quite human. Remind yourself in those moments that you are doing it right. I would say most things that come with growing pains, like learning French and following Jesus, are usually worth it.